depression

Depression.  it’s a monster.  it’s the dark cloud the follows you while you’re driving down the interstate, and you can see that ahead and behind there’s sun, but this cloud remains above you always.  it’s a beast that never dies, a hunger never satiated, a desire never fulfilled.  it’s eternal and all-powerful.  Depression is your god, your faith, your belief system.  it consumes everything you ponder and produce, mutilating it into a nasty array of pain and despair.

it’s undefeatable.  I would love to say that with proper medication and therapy, you can overcome it.  but that would be a lie.  instead, I will say that it can become tolerable.  support, pills, and doctors – these are the weapons you have against this beast.  the trick is to outlive it.  just as it never dies, so shouldn’t you.  withstand its attacks, and throw some back.

the sooner you understand that you are fighting a battle you will never win, the sooner you can actually begin fighting.  the longer you delude yourself with the lie that it’s a fair fight, or that there’s an outcome other than failure, the longer you run yourself in circles.  but admitting to yourself that you will lose, and that it’s just the degree to which you choose to lose on which you will focus – that’s when you can actually make progress.  and that’s when the Depression also loses.  you will never win, but it doesn’t have to either.

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