long-ass update


topics in order

· employment status

· mental health

· social health

o sidebar: sports

· physical health

· spiritual health

· projects

· consuming media

· creating media

· Brian

scroll to what you’re interested in – if anything. ::shrugs::

employment status

the teaching job is going okay. not as smoothly as I’d like, but I think I’m doing a sufficient job. I’ll be giving them their first quiz tomorrow. eep! only 10 questions, and open-book/-notes. so we’ll see how it goes.

I created a new display at the library. it’s for Banned Books Week. it’s cute. by the second day. someone was already checking a book out. my previous Graphic Novel display was very successful too. I really think I’m going to keep up with creating displays. maybe a new one each month? we’ll see.

mental health

my birthday was a few weeks ago. as a gift to myself, I dyed my hair black with two, large purple streaks. it’s really boosted my confidence and general mood. it’s nice to feel like I have Control over something still.

TMI ALERT: I was on the rag for TWELVE FUCKING DAYS. I never bleed for more than five. SO WHAT THE RIGHTEOUS FUCK, OVARIES. I also usually don’t have a heavy flow or mood swings. I get a little manic, but nothing major. however, this was not a period — it was a fucking ellipses! I was sooooo bitchy. poor Brian.

but now that it’s over, I’m mellowing out a little. I’m less pissy and a little more patient.

that new Brintellix I was taking? fuck it. I’m sick of the nausea. I see Bowers on Thu, Sep 25. in the meantime, I’ve put myself back on the Pristiq; I know better than to not be on anything, lol.

social health

due to drama with his work/school, Brian backed out of a lot of social events he had previously agreed to — including the Hunter campaign he was DM’ing. so now I’m in search of a new game.

my buddy Ron invited me to his ShadowRun game. however, I don’t get along well with one of the players. we’ve overlapped social circles since high school. I’ve never cared for her. and it didn’t help when she insulted one of my best friends right in front of the entire group.

Brian has also changed Date Night from Tuesday to Sunday evening. I’m exhausted when I come home on Tuesdays (I’m on campus for 11hrs, minus occasional lunch break), so I wasn’t really up for anything. then Wednesdays are now Work Night – we both work on being Productive.

he still hangs with Devlon on Thursdays, so that’s my Other People Night. then Friday is the ShadowRun game.

ooh, I’m also in a Fantasy Football League again this year. for you NFL fans, I originally had Ray Rice. bahahahaha, I dropped that fucker quit. at first, everyone was like, “aw, you’re gonna regret that!” (he’s a damn skilled player!) but I had a bad feeling about it. so I was like, “nah, y’all can have him.” lo and behold, after physically abusing his fiancée to the point of knocking her out, he was indefinitely suspended by the NFL. #GutFeelingsFTW

and it’s nice. I have one patron and a co-worker each who do Fantasy Football too; so I get to have conversations with them. we’ve exchanged good websites and tools, too.

SIDEBAR//SPORTS: ugh! both the Saints and UL lost this past weekend. POO! D:

physical health

I weighed in at 172.5lbs yesterday with body fat of 36.2 percentage. I’m 5’6”, which buts my BMI at 27.8; 25.0-29.9 is “Overweight”.

I’m also feeling my muscles and joints weakening. something has to change.

the out-patient program with Townsend will be +$1550 out-of-pocket. not feasible at the time. we’re going to try to do it on our own.

but I have a plan:

· no drinking alone

· no getting wasted

· 1 unit/hour, with exception of 2 units/first hour

· one glass of water per unit of alcohol

I started this yesterday. and I succeeded! Day One of No Drinking Alone, I won! 😀

I’m also taking some detox pills and stuff to help along the way. Thu and Fri I’ll be drinking (hanging w a friend for beer + video games; then a bachelor’s party). but fuck dude, I cooked last night and didn’t even have any wine!! 😀

also, as of yesterday morning:
Mon, Wed, Fri; 5am-6am: walking/running with a friend
Tue, Thu; 5am-6am: DDR

I missed this morning due to sheer exhaustion (I got 3.5 hours of sleep Sunday night, and 4.5 hours last night would not have been enough). but I’m’ll try to make it up tonight.

my wrist is still fucked up, so no weights yet. but I can still do cardio. so that’s what I’ll be up to.

I’ll aim to play DDR on Sunday mornings, too. but I won’t lose my shit if that doesn’t work out.

I’m tracking my food again, too. this should help me notice carbs, calories, sugar, alcohol, etc.

I’m aiming for low-carb right now, rather than paleo. I’ve not yet enough Spoons to return to the latter yet.

I’m also cooking on weekends again. that means less fast food and cheap shit from the bookstore during the week. hopefully this helps too.

however, I’VE LOST MY FITBIT. D: this was really good in helping me determine how many calories I’ve burned and how well my sleep is going. I’m’ll wait till the end of the week. if it doesn’t show up, I’m fucking buying a new one. ::pouts::

spiritual health

I’m still going to church with Dad, despite not giving a fuck about anything the pastor says.

I’m looking to maybe joining an Agnostic AA group. normal AA groups are too god-full for me.

I mean, yeah, I’m a Christian – in that I believe God and Christ are who they say they are.

however, I don’t think that God is all-loving. and I also believe in multiples lower deities and a spiritual power existing in all beings and some things. I dunno, it’s weird. I’ve posted on it before.

but anyway. I really want to stop going to church. is a waste of two hours (one hour session, two 30-minute drives). blah.


so I’m addicted to getting my story out in the public, lol. I don’t know why. I guess maybe to help others. for my DreamWidth and LiveJournal, I’m pretty open (they are password protected). meanwhile, I’m a little more selective about what I post on my WordPress and Google site – honestly, just because my employers or parents can access this information, lol. I also have a tumblr that would host the same information as WordPress and Google; trying to decide if I want to start importing the WordPress entries to it…. ::shrugs::

btw, my WordPress is a new project, so I’m still tweaking it. currently, I’m just copying things from Google over to it. but otherwise, I suspect the two will have basically the same information, just different layouts.

also, I’ve been moving the old troop Frontier Girls site to a new one on WordPress. I’ve been really enjoying this. not quite as nice as straight HTML coding, but there’s still some lenientcies in it.

meanwhile, I have to decide if I’m going back to work at SpayNation. I told the boss I would; but that was before I got the teaching job. maybe I could start going on Thursdays for my lunch break…. Mon and Wed I have class; Tue is chiropractor; Fri is lunch with Brian – so all that’s left is Thu. we’ll see.

consuming media

I have been reading The Maze Runner by James Dashner in preparations for the movie. I’ve owned the whole series forever, but I got distracted by several other books and series since acquiring them. but now that movie is coming out in less than two weeks, I need to hurry up and finish it, lol!!

I saw the most amazing movie!! it’s Call Me Crazy: A Five Film, and it’s soooooooo good!! (for those who care, Rotten Tomatoes audience gave it a 73%.) it follows five different characters in their struggles with their or someone else’s mental disorders. it’s realistic, has its up and down moments, and it very empowering. I also like that it shows the suffering of those who love people with disorders, not just that of the plagued. this paragraph is bold because everyone needs to watch it!! and yes, it’s on Netflix!!

I also finally finished The ABC’s of Death. I was a big fan back when it came out in 2012, but never finished. and now, a second one is supposed to be coming out soon. so I had to rush to finish it, lol.

creating media

I’ve done nothing. no stories, no songs, no poems. just the occasional RPG character and backstory.

but at work, I’ll be hosting NaNoWriMo Write-Ins again this year. as such, I’ll be trying to write. my goal won’t be 50k words, though. I think instead, it’ll be to work on my novel for at least an hour a day. I know that’s not quite along the “rules”. but creator Chris Baty even said he’d rather people use it to help them then follow strict rules. so yeah, that’s what I aim to do. the hour can be editing, story-lining, or actually writing. just s’long as I’m making progress.

I know I can’t commit too much, because I’ll still be teaching. but hey, at least a little is better than nothing.


so this is the second day in a row that someone’s asked me when Brian and I are getting married. WTF? we’ve only been dating for four years and living together for one. slow your fucking horses, kids. O_o

but things are okay with us. um, I can’t say too much on his school/work situation, other than that he may not get his PhD and will end with as ABD (All But Dissertation). it’s better than a Master’s, but it’s not what he was wanting.

anyway. that’s got him and me both real down. I’m trying to be the strong one, trying to be supportive. but it’s difficult. I’m harboring such anger on account of his not getting his PhD will be his fault for not working on his dissertation over the summer. ugh.

so, I dunno. it’s difficult.




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