it’s a bad day for my HeadSpace.
I’ve been sleeping so poorly recently. I mean, whether I stay up late or go to bed early, I always feel awesome the next morning. and during the weekends, I try to catch up by sleeping in. yet still, I awake so exhausted the next morning. moreover, I can’t be getting up early to workout if I’m not getting any rest. this is frustrating.
and my Depression is overwhelming again. I think it’s getting worse because of my lack of sleep … and because I keep forgetting to take my medication.
I’m so hopeless. and like, I want to hang out with Daminelle, Kiera, Billie, Jenna, and Sheila. I see posts all the time about different ones of them getting together. but I can’t hardly even manage to get to work. this past Friday and the Thursday before that, I called in sick. it’s not like it’s from a hangover or anything, either. it’s just that I can’t manage to be awake; I can’t handle dealing with students and coworkers.
speaking of drinking, I’ve been doing well about cutting back. still drinking more than I should be; but it’s much better already. and it’s only going to improve.
like, it’s getting real bad again. I see my psychiatrist next Thursday. so I just have to make it that long. then my next sleep doc appointment isn’t until December; so I may move that up sooner.
I don’t even wanna go to the WWE Raw showing tonight. can I just stay home and watch it on tv?? I don’t want to be in a crowd. I don’t want to be around anyone. I don’t want to have to be “On” and social. I don’t think I can do it today. I mean, I’m going. but I just won’t be playing any Pretend tonight.
speaking of Pretending, I have to start preparing my game face. I’m teaching later today. we’re going over the structure of a typical essay. then we’re going to review what a Narrative Essay entails. normally I’m bubbly in class. but that’s not what they’re going to be getting today, sorry guys.