ugh

so it’s time for a rant.

a brief recap of things that have gone shittily in the past few months:

  • pre-Aug:  still paying off two hospital bills
  • pre-Aug:  send my credit card bill to a claims agency
  • late Aug:  start teaching, on top of full-time library job
  • early Sep:  have anxiety attack and miss both jobs
  • mid Sep:  went to over-night ER for a nigh-fatal pyelonephritis
  • mid Sep:  was told we have to change insurance plans (OMG THE PAPERWORK!)
  • late Sep:  boss takes away many of my duties because believes I’m too overwhemled
  • late Oct:  baby brother totalled his car; father is pissed
  • late Oct:  miss psychiatrist appointment (I forget why); next appointment not until late Nov
  • 31 Oct:  didn’t do anything for Halloween because too depressed (it’s my favourtie holiday)
  • all of Nov:  not doing NaNoWriMo this year
  • 2 Nov:  went to over-night ER for another night-fatal visit, this time gastroenteritis
  • 4 Nov:  boss calls me into office telling me she’s worried about my well-being
  • 4 Nov:  got my second DUI due to meds+alcohol making me black out
    • was in prison for a night
    • requires rehab for 7-weels, meeting 5 days a week, plus additional AA meetings
    • requires interlock in car
    • sooooo muuuuuch moooooney
    • will require driving and drug classes
    • may result in lost of driver’s license for a year
    • may results in 10-30 days in prison
    • may have to get a lawyer
  • 6 Nov:  start out-patient
  • 6 Nov:  boss fusses at me for missing day before
  • 7 Nov:  boss fusses at me because didn’t email her about doc appointment (which is not the assigned protocol!, and no one else has to)
  • 7 Nov:  Wellness check-up; first time admitting to public I’m in rehab
  • 7 Nov:  miss my chiropractor appointment because of Wellness visit
  • 7 Nov:  cancel basically all upcoming plans, knowing will be too depressed/angry to do anything
  • 8 Nov:  showing signs of eating disorder returning
  • 8 Nov:  discover that apparently my bike is broken
  • 11 Nov:  have a hole in my C-PAP, so have to get that replaced
  • 11 Nov:  apparently there was blood in my urine from the Wellness visit
  • 11 Nov:  met w rehab doc who wants to put me on two more medications (which will total six prescription meds for me)
  • 11 Nov:  have to talk to sleep doc about getting off a good med, as per rehab doc
  • 11 Nov:  have to take a $150 genetics test as per rehab doc
  • 12 Nov:  will call contact about potential lawyer
  • ongoing:  worrying about Brian not getting his PhD and not having a job after this semester
  • ongoing:  having less than 500$ to my name at any given time

 

and now for the good things:

  • 24 Aug:  had a boring birthday
  • late Oct:  have fun at Gulf Brew with Dad
  • 8 Nov:  started working out again
  • 11 Nov:  met my out-of-pocket (so most all other doctor’s visits after this, insurance will pay 95-100%)
  • currently:  still have a job
  • currently:  Brian hasn’t left me yet

 

I go back to my rehab doc in a week (18 Nov), I see my psych in two weeks (25 Nov), I do another urine test for my Wellness on 9 Dec, and I see my sleep doc on 14 Jan.

 

 

can I just quit at life??

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