bad cat-mommy

I have nightmares.  as in I wake up crying or yelling, I spaz in my sleep, I’m terrified to go back to sleep, etc.  and this happens regularly.  I take Klonopin for it, but it only helps so much.

last night, however, wasn’t so much a nightmare as a mere bad dream.

IRL, Zero have been at his grandparents’ place since I got my DUI almost two weeks ago.  I miss him.

in my dream, I got him back.  but he wouldn’t talk to me (because in that dream, cats could speak English).  he wouldn’t let me hold or pet him; wouldn’t let me touch him at all.  he would only eat food that Brian put down, none that I did.  he was angry with me for both being a drunkard and bad cat-mommy, and for sending him off to the grandparents for so long.

I woke up nigh in tears.  I’m terrified this will become reality.

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