Brian’s still job hunting. he’s expanded his search to teaching jobs now. this displeases him greatly. he’s even gone as far as to mention that I should start looking for a job for us to move to.
and whether it’s us moving away from this God-forsaken back-waters land, or us sticking it out in this hellhole temporarily, I do have to find new/more source(s) of income.
but there’s so many options. I mean, I could pick up a second job here in Lafayette. that would honestly piss Brian off, because he’s determined to try to support and provide for me in a way that wouldn’t require my getting a second job. (1] I’m miserable everytime I have two jobs like that. 2] he feels my spending so much more than ever is because he has a richer lifestyle than I desire, which is true.) that would probably entail a retail job in the evenings and weekends. I did that with Walgreens for a few months when Brian and I first moved in together. it was awful; I was exhausted all the fucking time. if there were office jobs available on the weekends, that would be sufficient; but most offices are closed then. blah.
so then I get a whole new job in Lafayette that pays more. the various libraries in the area aren’t hiring (we have a parish library website that links to the city’s civil service job opportunity website). so that’s out. I could look up writing jobs in Lafayette, though I doubt I’d have much success there. or office jobs; I think that’s my best bet.
thirdly, I could look for a library, office, or writing/editing job somewhere else — hell, anywhere else. just gotta decide what and where.
but a big concern I’m going to have — I have two DUIs on my record. that doesn’t look good. that limits my job selection, as travel is out of the question. that also just looks bad on my reputation as a responsible and wise adult. so I’ll have to take that into consideration when applying to somewhere.
I just don’t even know what to do. I have so many paths I can start down, but I’m neither sure which are the “correct” ones nor which will actually land me anywhere (versus getting turned away because of the DUI or the uncompleted Masters degree).
I am only a Partial person — I’ve got an okay job with mediocre pay; I’ve got excellent work ethic with extreme mental disturbances; I have above par education but obviously am not competent to commit to further. I’m just above shitty so that at first glance, I look like an appealing candidate; but I’ve enough fuck-ups in my life that an employer is going to pick the other person over me.