so I’m part of a sexually kinky community. many of you know it — good for you. because my family and current/potential employers may possibly see this blog (god forbid!!), I’m not going to explicitly state it.
however, a member made a post that was very moving and powerful. I’m sure it will have less meaning here, as part of the beauty was that he made this post on a site about sex, not mental disorders. nevertheless, I really enjoyed it.
with permission of the creator, who wishes to be credited as Adam Garner Johnson, I’ve copy-pasted it below.
You can’t call in crazy.
by Adam Garner Johnson on Wed, Feb 18, 2015
Mental illness is a motherfucker.
I wrote this tonight not feeling well. I’m not running a fever, don’t have a stomach bug, but I’m definitely ill. I’m depressed, been slightly irrational and lost my shit last evening, where I cried uncontrollably and could barely breathe. I’m not saying any of this because I’m looking for sympathy or people messaging me to see if they can help. Because while I love my friends on here and people who I can turn to locally, I know what I’m suffering from is not going to be solved by chatting over the Internet. I’m taking and will continue to take the right steps to help with my current state of mind.
The reason I’m writing in the midst of my suffering and depression is because I’m not ashamed, I’m not proud of it either, it’s definitely, nothing to be proud of, but the stigma that gets associated with depression and mental health issues is crazy. The people are not crazy, how we treat them and the issues as a society is crazy.
The times people need other people the most is the same time, that one) they don’t want to be by anyone and second) the people they are reaching out to usually get burnt out on trying to help time and time again. It just escalates this cycle of shame that when you are feeling less than stellar, you have to just sulk in silence afraid of being judged. It’s inhumane and rather sickening the way people who are suffering from certain mental illness issues get treated. There are no easy answers or solutions for the problems I’ve mentioned, but creating this, “Oh, you’re acting irrational and you’re depressed, well that means you’re a fucked up person,” attitude that is systemic in our society, is fucking pathetic. You can call into work for various health issues, you can’t call in crazy and just say you need to go to a therapist and take a day to try to compose yourself. That shit isn’t going to fly at the workplace, not because it’s unreasonable or not rooted in science and medicine, but rather, we look at people who suffer from depression as less than, when in actually, they have as much control over what they are inflicted with as much as someone with the flu, we just don’t see it that way.
People who suffer are not broken, damaged or any other adjective you want to slap on their forehead, it’s a condition. We don’t feel comfortable making fun of a cancer patient, but we’ll laugh at the expense of bi polar homeless person that’s suffering from a psychotic break. I’ve seen it happen and people don’t get called out on it, because it’s okay in this world to shun the mentally ill.
Even the most well adjusted adult who has never been diagnosed with any mental condition, will still suffer at the wrath of their irrationality at some point in their life. Maybe not to the extent of forming an addictive habit, an ocd compulsion or a depressive episode, but to some degree or another, they will be overcome with emotions, thoughts of despair and someone would say to them that they are not acting like “themselves.”
So the reason I wrote this tonight was not to make some elegant statement, not to give any inspiration or insight on how to fight through being depressed. It was simply to say, I’m depressed and I’m not ashamed. I still may not be able to call in crazy, but I’m not going to act like I’m fine when I’m not and it’s okay to feel uncomfortable talking to someone who is suffering, it’s not okay to make them feel uncomfortable because they’re suffering, there is a big difference there.
Be good to each other, always.