April 2015’s Blogging A to Z:
I’m not talking about juggling balls and flaming pins and shit. I’m referring to tending to the various roles you play in your life.
Stephen Covey is awesome. his most popular book is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it’s awesome. other powerful pieces by him include First Things First, The 8th Habit, and Principle Centered Leadership. his material isn’t so much “self-help” books as “self-empowerment” books. he teaches you how to be a more productive person and a better leader, rather than how to love yourself better or find peace. he suggests that the latter will come with an improved management of your life; but that’s not the focus.
anyway, in the first books I mentioned, he presents a seven-step process in which you can create a guideline of sorts for your life. in step two, you learn how to define and approach goals in an efficient manner. one thing he stresses in this step is understanding your various roles in your life.
many people have since then created their own approach as to how to create said list of roles. but almost of all of them agree: Self must be first. so a set of roles may look like the following:
- Self (spiritual, mental, physical, etc.)
- Family Member (sister/brother, daughter/son, niece, uncle, etc.)
- Community Volunteer (troop leader, etc.)
- Hobbyist (singer, artist, etc.)
- And so on
something that I’ve been doing recently is reconsidering my personal Roles. I used to place Volunteer and X_Sterotype above roles such as Lover or Friend. and we all know that I’ve always place Self at the bottom.
having Sean come stay with us for a few weeks helped me understand how it’s not a bad thing to be self-focused. just as I differentiate between “child-like” (innocence, fun, purity) and “childish” (immature, greedy, impatient, petty), there’s “selfish” and “self-centered”. I mean, you can assign whatever exact terms you want to them — for example, is a “fag” a cigarette or a homosexual to you? –, it’s the idea that matters. Sean taught me that sometimes I have to focus on keeping myself afloat before I can even consider tending to others.
so that’s something I think I need to ponder on more — what my different Roles currently are, which I want to keep or are necessary, and what’s each of their importance to me.