I tried. I did. today was shit. have been having shit luck finding a job. and today was awful.
was hoping to enjoy evening w Bri; distract self of how hard all this is, remind self is worth it.
but had a worse day. things at work fucked up. and he never figured out how to fix. so he gets home VERY late and pissy. he tried to keep cool. but we’re both overwhelmed and dejected.
he says will soak in tub and read, then strait to bed.
I wanted a drink since lunch. very actively bought none at grocer yester.
I tried all day to fight off. moreover, will be using his card as I have no more money saved.
I plan to workout and do all sorts of things to distract. even looked up AA meeting; but none nearby.
so was gonna wait until Brian got home. talk to him.
but he has no more spoons than I.
so we walked to the store. and now we’re walking home. and I owe Brian $15.00 that I don’t know when I’ll have….
EDIT: and of course I step in dog shit on the way home….