how do you read the stories on my arms?

I have self-injury scars all over. and as aforementioned in my previous entry (written on Mar 24, but apparently never posted until moments ago, lol), I have long slices into my forearms from a para-suicidal decision/mistake. I didn’t get proper stiches (just butterfly-stitched them myself, as I usually do with my deeper self-retaliations), so the scars are very bright, bold, puffy, and obvious. people frequently attempt to hide or restrict their passing glances and less-than-subtle inspections.

butbyou know, I don’t mind. I really don’t. I don’t mind them looking and wondering. I mind even less them actually asking me about them (which happens occasionally). hell, I’m not even bothered when people believe that I truely attempted to kill myself.

what does bother me, however, what legitimately causes me discomfort and almost upsets me, is when they believe I failed at killing myself.

if I really attempted to end my life in en fanality, I would not fail; I would not fuck that up.

and I’m not really sure what that says about me….  but hey, you know, whatever. at least it means I’m interesting, right??   :/

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2 thoughts on “how do you read the stories on my arms?

  1. I’m the same way. I’ve had incidents where I thought I was going to kill myself and changed my mind at the last minute, standing in bare feet in snow up to my calves, in shorts and a tank top, out in the wilderness, with the razor in my hand, but I have never actually attempted to kill myself. I tended to say I would only ever have one attempt, then one that ended my life.

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  2. The only thing that kept me from killing myself is survival instinct. I wasn’t strong enough to overcome it.

    In general, cutting isn’t a good suicide method. It takes a deep cut in the right blood vessel for it to work. So maybe you didn’t really want to die or else you would’ve chosen a more decisive method.

    The internet is full of resources on how to successfully commit suicide. The dumb suicide preventionists can’t shut that up.

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