holidays are hard for many people, even the not Crazy ones. but we Nutters, it’s usually worse. many of us survive because of patterns and systems we’ve created and adapted that ensure we take our medications, see our doctors, refrain from stabbing people, etc. holidays defenestrate* all sense of stability. also, you’re around your family a lot. and Crazy is very genetic. so you’re then combining Crazies, Nutters, Batshitters, and all other types of insanity.
here’s the plans for my personal holiday experiences: Brian, Zero, and I fly out of Minnesota Friday afternoon. (yes, Zero is flying with us. we’re doping him up, first.) Friday night, his dad’s side of the family will be picking us up from the airport. at some point, my father will collect Zero, the latter staying at my parents’ the whole time. Friday and Saturday nights, Brian and I will sleep at his dad’s in the spare bedroom; Sunday and Monday nights, we’ll be at my parents’ on their fold-out couch in the living room. Saturday is Christmas with his dad’s side of the family; Sunday, it’s with his mother’s. Monday morning is Christmas with my family; Monday night, a select few friends are invited to a shindig. then we dope up Zero again in the wee hours of Tuesday morning while my parents take us back to the airport. Wednesday, I took off work as well, to recoup.
so. it’s going to be a busy few days for us. so how do I plan on minimizing the stabbing of loved ones and “other” ones? as follows:
- continue taking my medications as per their schedule: morning, as soon as I wake; afternoon, when I have lunch; night, a few hours before bed.
- if I feel my Crazies setting in or my Anxiety about to go off, Brian and I will go take a walk outside.
- I have permission to leave a situation that makes me uncomfortable or unhappy, even if it involves my family.
- I don’t have to pretend to be somebody I’m not — Brian’s family is Safe; my family knows me; my friends who are invited Mon night are Safe.
- I will try to journal at least a little each day. this will force me to take some time away from everyone to breathe and, in some cases, even reflect. said entries may not be posted to the public; but I will at least write.
I think if I can keep to the above, things should go well enough. ::crosses fingers:: I’m hoping so, at least.
*defenestration is my favourite word. it is the act of throwing something or someone out a window — de-, of out; and fenestra, Latin for window. I love it! 😀 arguments exist about defenestrate itself being a word; as a descriptive linguist, I support that it is.