I have been weak of Spirit and Body for several days now. I even took a half day at work on Wednesday because of how unwell I felt. now, I wouldn’t call it a depressive phase, because that’s something a little different for me. but I wasn’t sure what this was until this morning.
I take what I’ve heard referred to as Medication Cocktails — so many meds that interact in such odd ways, that sometimes missing one pill with throw things all out of whack. some of my medications are for my Crazies — bipolar, OCD, and anxiety. some of them are for my various sleeping disorders, such as hyperactive REM or RLS. others are generic vitamins because there’s no sun here, my body doesn’t process things correctly, or I’m more susceptible to certain ailments and maladies. some of those pills I have to take at the same time every single day. others, I can miss here or there and nothing major happens.
well, I have been out of my iron supplements for over a week. I didn’t think these to be very important to my daily well being. I’ve been on them so long, I don’t even think about it as a medication or supplement — it’s just part of my everyday life. but being without it for several days, as well as the additional pill that helps my body absorb iron in general — I can feel it.
I’m weak. I get dizzy every time I rise or turn too quickly. I have no physical energy. I am shaky and pale and cold. my mind is fuzzy, and I have no willpower.
I undervalue medications that aren’t for my Crazies, because I don’t see them as necessary for survival. instead, I see them as just making my life easier, less challenging. it’s like using a cheat code in a game to give you extra health.
but some of my non-Crazy meds are still required for my being able to function. and I suppose this lengthy post was a reminder that even the small medications count.
similarly, I need to remember that even the small efforts count. I didn’t work out at all this morning. I could’ve at least walked for 20 minutes. but I didn’t, because I didn’t think it would matter. and maybe just for today, it didn’t. but having worked out only once in the last week, that does make a difference.
so I need to refill my iron. and then I need to go back to the gym. and then I need to remember that the little things count in the long run.