Death of a Saleswoman

I’m a good saleswoman.  I can make you buy just about anything.  when I was just a peon at the portrait studio, I was capable of having you purchasing so many portraits, you wouldn’t know what to do with them all.  when I was a cashier at a book store, I constantly broke through the roof in membership card sales.  I was always one of the most successful Girl Scout cookies seller in my childhood.  I’ve always been able to get people to buy what I want to them to buy.

and this time around, I over-successfully sold me.

that’s how I feel at work.  I think I over-sold myself to them, and now I’ve screwed them over.  I did too well in the interview, because I’m obviously not nearly as competent and intelligent as I made myself out to be.

I wouldn’t say I’m a liar, because I’m not.  I just used stronger language than I should have, maybe.  instead of  expressing myself as comfortable and relatively experienced with finances maybe I should have said I’m an idiot with numbers as soon as you place a dollar sign in front of them (Brian can confirm the truth in that).  instead of telling them that I would be willing to relearn Spanish, I should have commented on my inability to really recall any information or facts.

I have done them a disservice in selling myself so well to them.  and this guilt is going to eat me alive.


2 thoughts on “Death of a Saleswoman

  1. I don’t know the atmosphere of the work place, so can’t really comment on what you could do at work (I used to talk to a manager I was comfortable with any feelings about my quality of work, how I was treated, etc), but if the guilt is so strong, have you started to look a bit around for another job? I felt the same way when I was hired by Sears, I let Chuck think I was amazing at getting people to get credit cards, which I am not. I never lied, I talked about how I was the most successful in my first retail job, which was true, but that is because our store didn’t care about opening cards and I am just really good with answering questions about the credit card :-b. I doubt you’re doing as poorly as you believe you are — it may not be a bad idea to have a casual conversation with your manager or HR about your performance.

    Liked by 1 person

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