I think it’s time for another unnecessarily massive update. what’d’ya say?
Hurricane Delta came through. my parents had half of their front porch’s roof tear off, and they’ve a leak in the living room of the house. Dad’s working with insurance to do all that shit.
here, the Pool House’s water pump is kaput. Mr Mike & Mrs Brenda are deciding what to do about replacing it or sticking the Pool House on city water. meanwhile, much of their fencing came down, along with a shit-ton of branches and limbs. last few days have been cleanup for all of that. Brian and I are fucking wiped. (I think we’re out of shape, lol.)
oooh, and Brian got to use a chainsaw for the first time. it’s been kinda adorable watching him and his dad work together. his dad is really starting to age, and I don’t think it’s hit Brian how he needs to be spending more time with him now while he can, despite my urging.
but no major damages from the hurricane. yay! I’m just tired of all the cleanup from these storms, lol.
all of the damage, meanwhile, has been here, lol.
my Depression seems to be getting better on the Vraylar. so that’s something. but it’s making me more anxious and pissy. I’ve gone off on Brian about petty shit more times than I can count in the last few days, poor thing. he’s been a good sport about it all though.
I talk to my psych this Thu, so I’ll run some of this by her.
I’m trying to see a therapist weekly. but they all keep fucking cancelling on me!!! it’s getting frustrating.
still sober from alcohol, so that’s good. no real cravings or anything like that. I have a NAB (non-alcoholic beer) once in a while if I get an inkling or something. and it’s 93% or so effective in tiding me over. so that’s been swell.
my SI and ED are another story. those are getting much worse as my stress and anxiety increase, #NoSurprise. once I get close enough with a therapist, I’ll talk about the SI.
meanwhile, someone with my insurance company is supposed to be seeing if there’s any out-patient ED clinics that they’ll cover. I legit found only three ED clinics in total in the whole fucking state. I might have to settle for a dietitian and/or nutritionist. whatever.
I haven’t been working out much due to chronic pain and fatigue. like, the pain was so bad the other right before the storm, I just couldn’t even get out of bed until hours later. this shit is literally debilitating sometimes.
Brian has his first actuary test in a two weeks or so. and his second is end of November. we’ll get the results backs Feb or Mar or so. from there, we’ll decide how to proceed….
he was studying really well for a while. then he started slacking. I finally called him on it. he’s gotten back on the stick since then. I’m overall proud of how hard he’s working. I know he’s doing his best. I just hope it’s enough….
meanwhile, I’m working on a few fronts for mine. I’m going to look into disability. I know, I know, that’s a long, long journey that usually includes multiples declinations and failures along the way. Mr Mike is helping me find a proper attorney. I have an interview sometime this week with someone, so we’ll see how that goes. they were like, “first, we want a list of all your ailments and your medications.” so the fucking novel of shit is ready, lol.
simultaneously, I’m pursing grant writing. I’m volunteering again with Wild Cat Foundation/SpayNation. the founder is letting me read all her grants. (honestly, this shit seems really simple.) I’ve taken a fuck-ton of free courses on the topic. I’ve interviewed a large handful of grant writers about the whole thing.
and I’m about to start creating a mock grant proposal portfolio. it’ll be fake orgs and proposals; but it’ll be sample work nevertheless. I hope to get one or two of the grant writers I interviewed to critique them for me; but I’m not sure if they’ll be willing. we’ll see.
I’m also doing informational articles over at my professional site. again, trying to build up portfolios of writing samples. once that’s padded up, I’ll reach out to some NPOs and offer pro-bono grant writing. I already have a few lined up, two of whom explicitly stated interested in my assistance. so that’s cool!
we’re still playing D&D. the Acq Inc campaign (with Tiger and Daminelle; wherein I have a cat character) got placed on hold while the latter is swamped with work. meanwhile, Elemental Evils (with my mom and Bri’s bro; wherein I have a bird character) is still going strong.
my current bestie Manda and I are RP’ing Harry Potter. my char Pillei is Ravenclaw, and her char Mabi is a Hufflepuff. (I tend to attract Huffies, don’t I? I think they are my fav ppl, honestly.) Manda herself is a Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff, I think. just as I am a Slytherclaw. RP’ing with her is keeping me sane.
she and I are also both doing NaNo this year. as follows is my working summary:
A young man’s spiral into depression and eventual suicide is recounted in a series of multi-level flashbacks, with each one echoing a level of Dante’s Hell.Descensus: a novel by James Christine Parker
This character growth/development piece explores suicide from the sufferer’s perspective more so than from the loved ones left behind.
so yeah. I’m really excited about NaNo. 😀 I won’t make the 50k words, and that’s fine. I’m just happy to be writing again. (I attribute that 100% to Manda and that Vraylar, honestly.)
Kiera, Jenna+Brandon, and Daminelle each came over to the Pool House once. I went to Daminelle’s for a few days a week or so ago (ING, HER BABY IS NO LONGER A BABY; he’s so biiiiiig). we saw Kiera, Payne+Antham, and Tiger+Catilyn at Brian’s birthday event. and Tiger+Catilyn and Brian+me went to the Swamp for my birthday. that’s it for IRL shit.
fuck, I need to get Sheila over… D: I’m a bad friend.
digitally, I mainly talk to ED and Fet friends. I’m trying to avoid an echo chamber, but it’s hard.
my friendships with the people individually listed have an IRL foundation, so it’s been hard to try to recreate or support the friendships digitally. it’s just not naturally. meanwhile, my ED and Fet friends, who I met digitgally, that’s just naturally how we’re communicated. hell, I’m even texting a bunch of them daily to check in. so that’s cool.
I just miss having a group. I miss my GOYA. 😥
Zero is doing great here. Mrs Brenda and I occasionally test the waters to see how her girl and my chunk will interact. her two golden retrievers are just like, “nah, we’re good” and leave Z alone. Z just watches them, ever the nosy busybody.
I don’t know what we’re going to do for Halloween. first my birthday, and now my fav holiday. I’m getting bummed. I mean, I’m not even putting up decorations this year. D: but Mrs Brenda has some of her festivities up, so that helps. 🎃
I suppose that’s everything. now that I’m writing again, maybe I’ll be back here more often. hell, I used to journal everyday. now it’s not even every month. but like I said, I’m writing again. so we’ll see how this goes.