Tough Mudder

I survived Tough Mudder!!  within this hour exactly one week ago, I started a 5-mile (8.05k) job that included 13 different military grade obstacles — and I obviously survived.  It was legit testing, y’all.  sure, a few years back on a Zombie Run, there was a time I needed to stop and catch my breath, and I decided to just let them take my flags if they wanted; didn’t matter, I needed to breathe.  but this was different.  this was legit mentally and emotionally challenging.  I was concerned I wasn’t going to be able to do certain obstacles, or that I would greatly injure myself in a n attempt.  I questioned my very decision of being there, or having signed up for this.  and then I went all existential and questioned so many other decisions in my life, including the move and the job acquisition.  but I just paused, recollected myself, and moved on to the next challenge.

and I completed it.  it seems like I should be more proud than I am.  I don’t hang out with or talk to fitness people anymore, so no one really understand the magnitude of difficulty that is the Tough Mudder.  normal adventure runs are a joke compared to this (I don’t mean to down those 5ks; I still love ’em!!).  but I don’t feel proud.  I’m disappointed in myself, that it was as difficult as it was for me.  that I didn’t prepare better.  that I didn’t perform better.  I’m disappointed at how it wasn’t as amazing as it should have been (as is related to things within my power, not the organization).

I suppose that’s the pessimist in me, the cynic.  the hyper-self-critical perfectionist.  but I don’t know how to change that about myself.  I suppose this is something I should bring up in therapy.

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it’s been a crazy few weeks

so it’s been a while since I last updated y’all on everything.

my family came in on Monday 6/12 and left Sat 6/17. in the party was my mother, my father, my little bro (he’s 27), and my brother’s friend. overall, we had lots of fun! Monday was just them recovering from the two-day drive. Tuesday, Brian joined the whole lot of us in walking around the Mall of America for 10 hours. that’s right, I typed 10. hours. but in those hours, we flung balls around during putt-putt, went cut up at the aquarium, got lost in a mirror maze, and cut up with strangers the whole time. Wednesday, Brian and I both worked. each Thursday and Friday, I worked only in the morning; Brian still worked all day. Thursday, I took the family and bro’s friend through the skyway. I had never walked it, so it was new to me too. then Friday, I took them out to St Paul to see the cathedral. (St Paul is one of the patron saints of my family’s catholic church back home.) then they departed around noon on Saturday when I had to leave for a volunteer work function.

OH! but while I was at work one day, guess what happened…… THE BEAST WAS EVICTED FROM THE OFFICE!! I mean, it took all four of my guests to capture the creature. but they did so, and Contact came to pick it up. it’s gone!! oh, what glorious days are these!!

last week, much time was spent repairing the apartment from all our guests. see, the four visitors slept in the living room. so we had no office and no living room for a week. it was exhausting. as was the clean-up.

then last Tuesday, my car overheats and never sufficiently cools enough for me to drive it. had to replace the entire radiator. not fun at all. so I was back to bussing to work for about a week. got it back Friday, right before the weekend. for which I was thankful, as I had a busy weekend planned.

Saturday was a workout day (more on that in another post); then I had a therapy appointment. I’m wondering why I’m going anymore. I want to ask her at the next session wtf exactly are we doing, what are we working on? she said at one point that she wanted to work on my negative talk. sure, that’s great. but when are we to start it??

anyway, after that, I went to the store to get hair dye and bleach. OMG, the colour did not turn out as it was supposed to. everyone during the weekend commented positively on it. but still. I’m having to re-dye it so I can keep my job. it’s way too bright. I’ll see about trying to upload a photo later. in the meantime, just imagine hot pink with a hint of pastel pink in it. eek!

Saturday night, Brian and I went to see the play “Booty and the Beast”. it was comedy skits influenced by social media, online dating, and Disney flicks. XD it was hilarious.

Sunday was the famous Minneapolis Pride Parade & Festival. and it was AWESOME. so much love and acceptance. and some of my kink friends were there, so I go to meet them IRL finally. and my hair was a hit there, of course. 😀

so yeah. it’s been an eventful few weeks. sorry for my absence. but I’m back, and I’m looking forward to catching up on what YOU’ve been doing. ❤

Nerd Fitness Challenge Goals

I used to participate in Nerd Fitness Challenges every seven weeks.  I have been doing that for years.  since moving up here, however, I’ve stopped.  I tried a few times, and failed.  well, I’m trying again.

below is my write-up of my Goals for this Challenge.

and if you want to know more about what Nerd Fitness and its community is, please feel free to ask!  😀

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reblogged: “You Won’t Find A Single Road In This Water Village”

so this is where I want to live now.

Wikie Pedia

Dutch-Venice-Giethoorn-front

A village, where there are no roads, no cars, no traffic, and ducks are the loudest sound you’ll hear. This is Giethoorn, in the Netherlands.

1Its first inhabitants (around 1230) found peat deposits and dug so many holes they turned into lakes and canals.

2

Walking paths and around 180 wooden bridges. That’s how people get around there. No roads. No cars. No traffic. Can you even imagine? duck

The village website says “the loudest sound you can normally hear is the quacking of a duck or the noise made by other birds.”4

People use “whisper boats,” which are boats with noiseless engines. There’s also a Canal Cruise by water bus. winter

The best part is that in winter when the boats can’t sail, residents just grab their ice skates to nip down the shops.

6

August is the busiest tourist month, in case you’re not big on crowds. The town…

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reblogged: “Justify”

this echoes my thoughts about leaving Louisiana….

Eyes + Words

Written by Jacob Ibrag

‘How do we know if what we’re doing is right?’

As we drove along the coastline sky, I couldn’t help but

think of the life we left behind. ‘It isn’t anything except a

story we tell ourselves to justify our flight. Maybe we ran

away because we could, maybe we ran away to survive.’


Photographer Unknown

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what the fuck have I done?

Brian and I have done it.  we’re committed.  July 15th, this year.  only three months away.

….we’ve signed up for Tough Mudder.

and I’m going to die.


Tough Mudder is like those adventure runs that I used to do all the time, except in Hard Mode.  it’s not so much a race as much as it is an obstacle course.

Tough Mudder is 10-12 miles of mud and 20+ obstacles designed to drag you out of your comfort zone. […]  With no podiums, winners, or clocks to race against, Tough Mudder isn’t about how fast you can cross the finish line. It’s about pushing yourself. It’s about teamwork, camaraderie, and accomplishing something extraordinary.

Brian is doing the 10 mile course with 20+ obstacles.  I’m only doing the 5 mile with 13 obstacles.  I’m not at a point where I could handle the 10 miles.  (though next year/time, I aim to be.  >:D )

all of this means I have to start working out again.  and I started this morning.  it means I have to workout every day, no matter what.  no excuses.  no wimping out.  even if it’s just a brisk walk outside for a few minutes, I have to do something.

the Tough Mudder website has a three-month workout program designed to help get you ready.  it’s a lot of circuit training and HITT — because that’s that kind of fitness I’ll need for the course.  and honestly, that’s the kind of fitness I want overall.  I want to be able to do bursts of stuff.  I don’t need long endurance.  and HITT is easier to change things up so I don’t get so bored as quickly.

that’s all for now.  I wish I could write a more concise and stream-lined post about it, but my brain is all over the place.  I wanted to at least get it out there that we’re doing this.  so that in the future, when I’m groaning about my workouts, you’ll know why.  😉

time to run

I signed up for a simple 5k walk/run.  it’s in June.  that gives me time to get back to a semblance of healthy, at least.  I was telling a co-workers — who I really hope I can legit befriend — about some of the fun 5ks I’ve done over the years: zombies, foam, colours, fun jump/bouncy castles, etc.  she then took it upon herself to find one she could walk for, and signed herself up.  she also signed up her partner, who said he would go to whatever she chose.  well, it wasn’t until after she’d paid the fees and whatnot that her man told her he would be running it, leaving her behind.  so I volunteered to go with her.  we could go at whatever pace she needed.  she seemed to both appreciate the sentiment and see the value in my offer, because she accepted it happily.

so in the middle of June, I’m doing another 5k.

this one is just two laps around a pond in St. Paul.  nothing spectacular.  but it was only $30, and it’s a charity run/walk.  so that works for me.  just something to get me moving again.

I’ve missed my 5ks.  I’ve missed being fit.  I’ve missed the smaller numbers on my scale, my clothes fitting, not having to suck in my gut because it expands past my breasts.  I’m tired of holding onto clothes because “maybe I’ll fit them again in a few months”, of constantly eating when I know I shouldn’t, of huffing and puffing while going up or down a set of stairs.  I’m just done with it.

so I need to come up with my plan.  it’s finally starting to warm.  so I might can start running outside soon.  I’m moderately looking forward to that (I usually hate running, because of my knees).  I’ll probably go back to the very first workout routine that worked for me.  I had the most success with it (some reasons for this were unrelated to the workout itself, granted), so why not try it again.  if it works again, then I know it’s a keeper.  if not, then I need to see what is the element or variable that’s fucking with my shit and preventing me from exercising.

I also need to look into my food plan.  I’m thinking 1,600 kcals/day, minus Tuesdays and Fridays (usually date nights, wherein I eat whatever Brian is eating more food than I should).

so that’s what I’ll work on tonight.  my fitness plan.  I may post up the deets when I’m finished.  undecided.