Another Massive Update

I think it’s time for another unnecessarily massive update. what’d’ya say?


Hurricane Delta came through. my parents had half of their front porch’s roof tear off, and they’ve a leak in the living room of the house. Dad’s working with insurance to do all that shit.

here, the Pool House’s water pump is kaput. Mr Mike & Mrs Brenda are deciding what to do about replacing it or sticking the Pool House on city water. meanwhile, much of their fencing came down, along with a shit-ton of branches and limbs. last few days have been cleanup for all of that. Brian and I are fucking wiped. (I think we’re out of shape, lol.)

oooh, and Brian got to use a chainsaw for the first time. it’s been kinda adorable watching him and his dad work together. his dad is really starting to age, and I don’t think it’s hit Brian how he needs to be spending more time with him now while he can, despite my urging.

but no major damages from the hurricane. yay! I’m just tired of all the cleanup from these storms, lol.

Emotional/Mental Health

all of the damage, meanwhile, has been here, lol.

my Depression seems to be getting better on the Vraylar. so that’s something. but it’s making me more anxious and pissy. I’ve gone off on Brian about petty shit more times than I can count in the last few days, poor thing. he’s been a good sport about it all though.

I talk to my psych this Thu, so I’ll run some of this by her.

I’m trying to see a therapist weekly. but they all keep fucking cancelling on me!!! it’s getting frustrating.

Bad Habits

still sober from alcohol, so that’s good. no real cravings or anything like that. I have a NAB (non-alcoholic beer) once in a while if I get an inkling or something. and it’s 93% or so effective in tiding me over. so that’s been swell.

my SI and ED are another story. those are getting much worse as my stress and anxiety increase, #NoSurprise. once I get close enough with a therapist, I’ll talk about the SI.

meanwhile, someone with my insurance company is supposed to be seeing if there’s any out-patient ED clinics that they’ll cover. I legit found only three ED clinics in total in the whole fucking state. I might have to settle for a dietitian and/or nutritionist. whatever.

Physical Health

I haven’t been working out much due to chronic pain and fatigue. like, the pain was so bad the other right before the storm, I just couldn’t even get out of bed until hours later. this shit is literally debilitating sometimes.



Brian has his first actuary test in a two weeks or so. and his second is end of November. we’ll get the results backs Feb or Mar or so. from there, we’ll decide how to proceed….

he was studying really well for a while. then he started slacking. I finally called him on it. he’s gotten back on the stick since then. I’m overall proud of how hard he’s working. I know he’s doing his best. I just hope it’s enough….


meanwhile, I’m working on a few fronts for mine. I’m going to look into disability. I know, I know, that’s a long, long journey that usually includes multiples declinations and failures along the way. Mr Mike is helping me find a proper attorney. I have an interview sometime this week with someone, so we’ll see how that goes. they were like, “first, we want a list of all your ailments and your medications.” so the fucking novel of shit is ready, lol.

simultaneously, I’m pursing grant writing. I’m volunteering again with Wild Cat Foundation/SpayNation. the founder is letting me read all her grants. (honestly, this shit seems really simple.) I’ve taken a fuck-ton of free courses on the topic. I’ve interviewed a large handful of grant writers about the whole thing.

and I’m about to start creating a mock grant proposal portfolio. it’ll be fake orgs and proposals; but it’ll be sample work nevertheless. I hope to get one or two of the grant writers I interviewed to critique them for me; but I’m not sure if they’ll be willing. we’ll see.

I’m also doing informational articles over at my professional site. again, trying to build up portfolios of writing samples. once that’s padded up, I’ll reach out to some NPOs and offer pro-bono grant writing. I already have a few lined up, two of whom explicitly stated interested in my assistance. so that’s cool!


we’re still playing D&D. the Acq Inc campaign (with Tiger and Daminelle; wherein I have a cat character) got placed on hold while the latter is swamped with work. meanwhile, Elemental Evils (with my mom and Bri’s bro; wherein I have a bird character) is still going strong.


my current bestie Manda and I are RP’ing Harry Potter. my char Pillei is Ravenclaw, and her char Mabi is a Hufflepuff. (I tend to attract Huffies, don’t I? I think they are my fav ppl, honestly.) Manda herself is a Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff, I think. just as I am a Slytherclaw. RP’ing with her is keeping me sane.

she and I are also both doing NaNo this year. as follows is my working summary:

A young man’s spiral into depression and eventual suicide is recounted in a series of multi-level flashbacks, with each one echoing a level of Dante’s Hell.
This character growth/development piece explores suicide from the sufferer’s perspective more so than from the loved ones left behind.

Descensus: a novel by James Christine Parker

so yeah. I’m really excited about NaNo. 😀 I won’t make the 50k words, and that’s fine. I’m just happy to be writing again. (I attribute that 100% to Manda and that Vraylar, honestly.)

Social Life

Kiera, Jenna+Brandon, and Daminelle each came over to the Pool House once. I went to Daminelle’s for a few days a week or so ago (ING, HER BABY IS NO LONGER A BABY; he’s so biiiiiig). we saw Kiera, Payne+Antham, and Tiger+Catilyn at Brian’s birthday event. and Tiger+Catilyn and Brian+me went to the Swamp for my birthday. that’s it for IRL shit.
fuck, I need to get Sheila over… D: I’m a bad friend.

digitally, I mainly talk to ED and Fet friends. I’m trying to avoid an echo chamber, but it’s hard.

my friendships with the people individually listed have an IRL foundation, so it’s been hard to try to recreate or support the friendships digitally. it’s just not naturally. meanwhile, my ED and Fet friends, who I met digitgally, that’s just naturally how we’re communicated. hell, I’m even texting a bunch of them daily to check in. so that’s cool.

I just miss having a group. I miss my GOYA. 😥

Other News

Zero is doing great here. Mrs Brenda and I occasionally test the waters to see how her girl and my chunk will interact. her two golden retrievers are just like, “nah, we’re good” and leave Z alone. Z just watches them, ever the nosy busybody.

I don’t know what we’re going to do for Halloween. first my birthday, and now my fav holiday. I’m getting bummed. I mean, I’m not even putting up decorations this year. D: but Mrs Brenda has some of her festivities up, so that helps. 🎃

I suppose that’s everything. now that I’m writing again, maybe I’ll be back here more often. hell, I used to journal everyday. now it’s not even every month. but like I said, I’m writing again. so we’ll see how this goes.


2019-Q4 Review

as many of you may know, I do a personal Quarterly Review every three month. the most recent one was eight pages and quite in-depth. don’t worry! I’m not just copy-pasting it here, as that’s a lot to read. (also privacy reasons, lol.) instead, I’ll create some groups/categories and summarize my shit in there.


I’ve been so-so with this one. I’ve been going to my various physical and emotional/mental doctors as directed and took all my pills as prescribed. probably once every two to three weeks, I’d forget a single dose. though this was true for most of 2019, I just wanted to point it out, as that’s leaps and bounds above where I used to be — mostly thanks to Brian.

to those wondering (and who even knew), I’m still sober. meanwhile, to those out of the loop, I stopped drinking back in August 2018. it’s actually been a lot smoother ride than I thought it would have been. so yay, something was “easy” in my life for once!!

weight-wise, things went on a pleasant downhill. on the morning of 10/01/2019, I was 175 lbs (35.4% body fat). then as of the morning of 01/01/2020, I was 166.2 lbs (33.6%). in 13 weeks and 1 day (or 92 days total), I lost 8.8 lbs– an average of 0.67 lbs per week (or 0.10 lbs a day). I’m okay with that. a lot of generic or online programs have you choose between losing 0.5 or 1.0 lbs a week, so 0.67 lbs a week is just fine by me. 😀 ….sorry, went a little OCD with the numbers there, lol.

anyway, I think things overall were good.

Team Ow

nothing much stood out here. Team Ow (Brian, James, and Zero) are doing fine as a team/unit.

the end of this Quarter found Brian and I being together for 9 years, 5 months, and 12 days — which, OMG. how has someone put up with my crap for so long … by choice?! and then how did I not get bored with the same human yet? wtf.

meanwhile, it found Zero at an age of 10 years, 3 months, and 7 days. mah ol’ man. XD but he’s still as freakin’ spry as ever. like, annoyingly so, lol.


boy, this is a fun one.

as some of you know — my father became somewhat paralyzed in his right side and had to have emergency brain surgery to drain out the bleeding on both sides of his head. O_O and he apparently had one of the best brain surgery recoveries the workers on hand had seen. by the next day, he was already moving things again. so thanks to whatever Power helped us out there — even if it was just my father’s pure stubbornness.

some other family member attempted suicide right around the same time. that was … difficult. but honestly, not as much as Dad’s stuff.

other than that, family is all about the same.

Friends and Folk in Louisiana

we went home in July for two main reasons — 1] Sheila and Will were finally getting married; and 2] Brian’s grandmother’s 90th birthday bash might be the last family gathering they’d have. meanwhile, we had scheduled a shindig for while down there to see all our other folk.

AND THEN FREAKIN’ HURRICANE BARRY HIT. like, wtf. the birthday party was cancelled, the wedding was moved (to a day in which I could not attend), and our shindig was somewhat brief. seriously, what. the. fuck.

Writing, D&D, and Other Hobbies

I didn’t do NaNo this year. that was right after my dad’s surgery and some other shit, so it was just a really bad time. I really did not write much. I hope planned efforts for 2020-Q1 will change that pattern.

Brian continued running D&D for his brother, my mum, and me. I started looking into running Nobilis for Brian, Mum, and Daminelle; though nothing has actively come of that yet.

meta knowledge, but we finally sent out 2019 Holiday Cards … in the middle of January 2020. D: oi vey. we were not timely this year, lol. anyway. in the cards was an unnecessarily lengthy yet somehow still brief recap of our year. we kept busy!!

meanwhile, I’ve once again become a go-to pet- and house-sitter. that really makes me happy. I enjoy doing it. I love meeting all the critters. I like seeing new homes. oh, and helping people and/or getting paid, food, and/or gifts ain’t that bad either, lol.


as a reminder, back in July I had left the law firm and started as the Executive Admin Asst for the CEO of a single-family investment firm. still trucking along there. it’s just temp work, but I continue to enjoy it.

A Few Questions

and now, a few recap’ing questions. overall…

What Are Some Things That Went or Turned Out Well?

Christmas went well. we went to a friend’s place for the first time (was also the first time we weren’t alone up here for Christmas) and played a new game that Mum and Dad just got us.

legit, Dad healing up as quickly as he did was awesome!

What Are Some Things That Went or Turned Out Poorly?

the investment firm informed me they wanted me to stay on as temp worker instead of moving into a permanent salary role. that really sucked.

To What Am I Looking Forward about 2020-Q1?

I keep crossing my fingers about our getting out of the frigid north, lol.

winter is also on the decline by this point. yay!!

Monthly Consumptions: December 2019

little late, but here we go. XD

Continue reading

Monthly Consumptions: November 2019

Brain Food time again!

Continue reading

Monthly Consumptions: October 2019

Brain Food time again!

Continue reading

quick little survey

I hadn’t done a meme/survey thing in a while. I stole this one from my buddy orangerful over at ElJay.

💍 Marriages: none.
💍 Engagements: none.
💔 Divorces: none.
👶 Kids: just mah one chunky-monkey fur-baby.
👦 Brothers: un, Tiger who’s three years younger than me.
👧 Sisters: only Mom and Dad’s pets, lol.
🐕 Current Pets: Zero, all 10-years and 14-pounds of him..
👩🏼‍⚕️ Surgeries: dislocated and broke three bones in my ankle back in 208 or so.
✒ Tattoos: not yet… 😉
🌴 Been to an Island: only ones in random ponds around Louisiana.
✈️ Flown on a Plane: couple times now, yeah.
🚑 Rode in an Ambulance: multiple times, at this point.
🎤 Sang Karaoke: once or twice.
⛸ Ice Skating: two or three times, now.
🚢 Been on a Cruise: sadly, not yet.
🏍 Rode on a Motorcycle: yeah. even owned one for a while. miss my Baldr.
🏍 Owned a Motorcycle: oh, I didn’t see this question when I answered the last one, lol.
🐴 Rode on a Horse: UGH, I evil little fuckers.
🏥 Stayed in a Hospital: bahaha. nigh countless times.
🍓 Favorite Fruit: plums, avocados (technically fruits, I think), and blood oranges.
🌓 Favorite Day: like, ever? or of the week? this is a really vague question….
🌈 Favorite Colour: BLACK! then dark purple.
📱 Last Phone Call: probably my mum, lol.
☕️ Coffee or Tea: tea.
🥧 Favorite Pie: pumpkin, then pecan.
🍕 Favorite Pizza: pineapple+onion+mushroom.
🐶 Cat or Dog: meow! :3
☃️ Favorite Season: depends on the state — home, autumn; here, summer.
⭐️ Met a Star: mainly voice actors and artists.
🚁 Rode in a Helicopter: yes. and omg, an autorotation is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had! 😀
📺 Been on TV: few times with scouts back in the day.
🦴 Broken a Bone: omg, so many. D:
👻 Seen a Ghost: probably.
🤮 Been Sick in a Taxi: only rode in a taxi once; was not ill.
⚰️ Seen Someone Die: like a human? yeah, once. same days I learned I suck at CPR….

Monthly Consumptions: July 2019

oops. it’s all articles this go round. sorry about that, y’all!

Continue reading