y’all know me. I’m always trying to do a proper series of sorts on here. so here’s another go at it. below is the intro as written by its creator — so all credit on this post goes to him. stay tuned to read my thoughts……
in the tub. with my cell. with bubbles and epsom salt. with hot and hoefully healing waters.
in my self-hatred and concern. about my skills set and capabilities. about if my creativity is even alive anymore. about my cage called “a body”.
in my longing. for the sun. to be outside. to have a group of friends. to host shindigs. to have a home again.
in my fear. of my personal future. of what this president is doing to the whole world. of my career. of never being happy again. of being stuck in this state.
in hopelessness. because nothing will change soon enough. because I will never like, much less love, myself. because I will never truly write again.
in the tub. with cold water now. without anymore bubbles or full grains of salt. without any sense of peace that this was supposed to give me.
well, I had a second UTI in three weeks. and this one is so bad it moved up into my kidneys. the nurse practitioner seemed impressed of sorts when she reviewed my stats:
|Component||Your Value||Standard Range|
|UA PH OP||5.0||5.0, 5.5, 6.0, 6.5, 7.0, 7.5, 8.0|
|UA SPECIFIC GRAVITY OP||1.020||1.015, 1.020, 1.025|
|UA PROTEIN OP||>=300 mg/dL||Negative mg/dL|
|UA GLUCOSE OP||100 mg/dL||Negative mg/dL|
|UA KETONES OP||Trace mg/dL||Negative mg/dL|
|UA BILIRUBIN OP||Small||Negative|
|UA BLOOD OP||Moderate||Negative, Trace|
|UA UROBILINOGEN OP||2.0 EU/dL||0.2, 1.0 EU/dL|
|UA LEUKOCYTE ESTERASE OP||Large||Negative, Trace|
|UA NITRITE OP||Positive||Negative|
the whole >=300 protein bit really made her nervous, lol. all that the above says is “OMG YES, THIS IS A BAD UTI”. XD so there’s that going on.
oh! she did give me a recommendation to a urologist to finally get this mess checked out and see what’s wrong with me. that’s good news.
Brian’s trying to get a table-top group going again. he’s got his eyes on a wrestling RPG. Tiger can’t commit right now; Daminelle is not interested in the wrestling one. so we may be having to bring on new people, or think of something else. Brian, Dam, and I are to talk tonight about what all our options are. I’m willing to DM a story-heavy campaign, not so much a hack’n’slash one. so we’ll see.
really, that UTI has been the bulk of my week. maybe next time I’ll have more interesting things to share….
so I had this all written up about a week ago. I’ve asked Brian a few times to help me review it and ensure I was holding an objective and realistic perspective on things. he never did, so I’m just shooting it out as-is. I’ll tweak it and flesh it out later. but here’s a start.
after Tough Mudder, Brian and I got sick (he’s still struggling with his ear infection); shortly after that, I hurt my shoulder somehow. and then for at least a month before all that, my car was constantly in and out of the shop for one reason or another.
well, things are finally starting to settle down. I’m going back to 9Round (my cardio kickboxing classes) as of yesterday. I’m eating more healthily and am tracking it again (with the exception of chewing gum). I’m starting back on my Duolingo to re-learn Spanish for work. I’m getting up and going to bed at somewhat regular times. et cetera, et cetera.
which is good. because my weight and fitness are horrid at this point. I’m only twenty pounds lighter than my boyfriend who is over six inches taller than me and has a stockier build. twenty pounds — that’s all. that’s not enough. I’ve really let myself go.
I snack too much, for one thing. I used to either have dinner or snack, not both. I need to get back into that system. or into something. I just need to do better.
I finally got around to doing chores at the apartment. it had been at least two weeks since it really got the attention it needed, due to our being so ill and icky. but this past weekend, we both did a lot of chores. (thank you, Brian!)
I’m hoping (as ever) to get onto a blogging schedule. it’s just hard with my life schedule changing so much.
I need to do some creative writing. I haven’t done that in ages. because I know I suck at it these days — and I hate doing things at which I’m no good.
work’s okay. ups and downs. almost done finding a bunch of bookkeeping and client-balance errors, which has been my big personal project. when I thanked one of the attorneys (the one is not either partner), he thanked me in return because apparently none of the Office Managers before me ever bothered to sort this stuff out. so that made me feel competent. 🙂
I suppose that’s it for now. I have one more big piece of news, but there are pictures that go with it that I don’t have access to at the moment. so we’ll hold off on that update for a little bit…
so with my getting a regular writing schedule, I’m hoping to have some pretty constant topics in the long-run. like, “Wednesday’s Writing Prompt” or “Thoughts for Thursdays”, and other alliterative things. but for now, I think I’ll start with “Week-End Wrap-Up”, to be written/posted on either Saturday or Sunday.
I can’t decide the exact topic, however. at first, I was thinking that I would do a basic recap of my week. and if a person was not interested in my day-to-day life, they could simply just skip reading it. (but I’ll be honest, there’s sometimes some really interesting things that happen to me, even on “normal” days.)
then I thought that maybe my “wrap-ups” should be that of projects. it might help to encourage me to complete tasks and projects. but then I considered that I don’t really complete one project a week. so I’m not sure I’m going to go with that one.
do you have any ideas? and it can be for any day, not just “Week-End Wrap-Up”. I just figured that would be the easiest.