Building Greater Self-Reliance: Day 03

31 Journaling Prompts for Building Greater Self-Reliance:  Day 03

“I would write on the lintels of the doorpost, Whim. I hope it is somewhat better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation.”

― Emerson

If we don’t trust our whims to guide our exploration of possibilities for our lives, we’ll quickly find ourselves relying on others for answers.

What areas of your life have you shut off to whims? Are there any you’ve written off? How might you try following them responsibly? (Is it writing an outline for a ridiculous-sounding blog post? Picking up that book that feels “unproductive”? Joining the boxing gym you pass daily? Asking that girl out you’ve had your eye on? Booking the trip you’ve been thinking about?)

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Amanda Fucking Palmer – “Another Year”

I tried to Fall in it again.
my Friends took bets and disappeared;
they mime their sighing violins,
I think I’ll wait another year.

I want my chest pressed to Your chest.
my nervous systems interfere.
ten or eleven months have passed;
I think I’ll wait another year.

this weather turns my tricks to rust.
I am a lousy engineer.
the Winter makes things hard enough.
I think I’ll wait another year.

plus I’m only twenty-six [thirty-two] years old;
my grandma died at eighty-three.
that’s lots of time if I don’t smoke.
I think I’ll wait another year.

I’m not as callous as you think.
I barely breath when You are near.
it’s not as bad when I don’t Drink.
I think I’ll wait another year.

I have my new Bill Hicks CD.
I have my Friends and my career.
I’m getting smaller by degrees.
You said you’d help me Disappear;
but that could take forever .


I think I’ll wait another year.
it’ll be the best year ever.
I think I’ll wait another year.
can’t we just wait together?
You bring the smokes, I’ll bring the beer.
I think I’ll wait another year.

Building Greater Self-Reliance: Day 02

31 Journaling Prompts for Building Greater Self-Reliance:  Day 02

“ The virtue in most request is conformity. ”

― Emerson

“ People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive. ”

― Joseph Campbell

Where do you find the most meaning in life and feel the most fully alive? Is there something you’d love to do but don’t because the world thinks it’s silly or worthless or wrong? Is there anything you do that you consider virtuous yet the world looks down on? How do you handle the tension?

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Building Greater Self-Reliance: Day 01

31 Journaling Prompts for Building Greater Self-Reliance:  Day 01

“The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another.”

―Jiddu Krishnamurti

What is something you have or are pursuing, that other people say is worthwhile, but you haven’t found valuable? Do you continue to pursue it based on the promises of others?

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“31 Journaling Prompts for Building Greater Self-Reliance” (v2)

I attempted to start a post series back in April of 2018, based on a 31-day journaling prompt collection from the Art of Manliness (AoM). I managed to get only one day pumped out.

I’m trying again. but this time, with success! and you can follow below.

James’s Musings on Self-Reliance
Day 01: Wed 04/03/2019
Day 02: Sat 04/06/2019
Day 03: Wed 04/10/2019
Day 04: Wed 04/17/2019
Day 05: Sat 04/20/2019
Day 06:
Day 07:
Day 08:
Day 09:
Day 10:
Day 11:
Day 12:
Day 13:
Day 14:
Day 15:
Day 16:
Day 17:
Day 18:
Day 19:
Day 20:
Day 21:
Day 22:
Day 23:
Day 24:
Day 25:
Day 26:
Day 27:
Day 28:
Day 29:
Day 30:
Day 31:

if you’ve forgotten what exactly it was about, feel free to keep reading for the introductory excerpt from the AoM piece itself.

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the all-consuming Darkness

I’ve been on antipsychotics for a while now. lithium, to be precise. lots of it. and it works! my anxiety is lower, my compulsions quieter, my obsessions weaker, and my hypomanias basically non-existent. so yeah, we got the Manic portion of things mostly under control.

but we haven’t figured out my Depression. it’s still all-consuming, a shroud that covers everything, even the things I once loved or enjoyed.

things are not fun anymore, for example. and I don’t even want to try to have fun anymore; it’s exhausting.

I had a lot of free time this past Saturday. so what did I do?– sleep. for ~15hrs. sure, I know part of it was actually needing the sleep for physical reasons. but I know the difference between that and sleep as escapism. and most of that was the latter.

and though it may be psychosomatic and even self-fulfilling, I firmly believe that I will never get better until I GTFO of this fucking tundra.

“go all Henry David Thoreau up in here”

I think I need a vaccay from people. like, from all humans. even Brian. go all Henry David Thoreau up in here or something.

I used to camp all the time. year round, and as much as possible. I would volunteer with organizations too. a lot of my time used to go to volunteerism.

I mean, I have a pessimistic, natural inclination to assume the worst about a given individual. but I used to at least allow them enough room to hang themselves. these days, I can hardly wait to pull a handle of judgment to drop people to a doom they possibly didn’t rightly deserve.

and those aforementioned communes with nature or surrounding myself with heartfelt people — they would reset the innate hatred I have within. they would fill me with beauty, awe, and hope. and then I had the energy to go tackle the harsh reality that is life.

but with no vacations to remind myself what matters, with no groups or friends also struggling to focus on the light, I feel … I just feel hopeless, adrift. like I’m just barely staying afloat in life instead enjoying the waves at a beach.

I will make it a point to find a volunteer group again. I will make it a point to go camping again soon (once it fucking warms a little, because I am a pussy in the cold). and I will make it a point to write again … even if there is no one remaining to read anything.