Tough Mudder

I survived Tough Mudder!!  within this hour exactly one week ago, I started a 5-mile (8.05k) job that included 13 different military grade obstacles — and I obviously survived.  It was legit testing, y’all.  sure, a few years back on a Zombie Run, there was a time I needed to stop and catch my breath, and I decided to just let them take my flags if they wanted; didn’t matter, I needed to breathe.  but this was different.  this was legit mentally and emotionally challenging.  I was concerned I wasn’t going to be able to do certain obstacles, or that I would greatly injure myself in a n attempt.  I questioned my very decision of being there, or having signed up for this.  and then I went all existential and questioned so many other decisions in my life, including the move and the job acquisition.  but I just paused, recollected myself, and moved on to the next challenge.

and I completed it.  it seems like I should be more proud than I am.  I don’t hang out with or talk to fitness people anymore, so no one really understand the magnitude of difficulty that is the Tough Mudder.  normal adventure runs are a joke compared to this (I don’t mean to down those 5ks; I still love ’em!!).  but I don’t feel proud.  I’m disappointed in myself, that it was as difficult as it was for me.  that I didn’t prepare better.  that I didn’t perform better.  I’m disappointed at how it wasn’t as amazing as it should have been (as is related to things within my power, not the organization).

I suppose that’s the pessimist in me, the cynic.  the hyper-self-critical perfectionist.  but I don’t know how to change that about myself.  I suppose this is something I should bring up in therapy.

Nerd Fitness Challenge Goals

I used to participate in Nerd Fitness Challenges every seven weeks.  I have been doing that for years.  since moving up here, however, I’ve stopped.  I tried a few times, and failed.  well, I’m trying again.

below is my write-up of my Goals for this Challenge.

and if you want to know more about what Nerd Fitness and its community is, please feel free to ask!  😀

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what the fuck have I done?

Brian and I have done it.  we’re committed.  July 15th, this year.  only three months away.

….we’ve signed up for Tough Mudder.

and I’m going to die.


Tough Mudder is like those adventure runs that I used to do all the time, except in Hard Mode.  it’s not so much a race as much as it is an obstacle course.

Tough Mudder is 10-12 miles of mud and 20+ obstacles designed to drag you out of your comfort zone. […]  With no podiums, winners, or clocks to race against, Tough Mudder isn’t about how fast you can cross the finish line. It’s about pushing yourself. It’s about teamwork, camaraderie, and accomplishing something extraordinary.

Brian is doing the 10 mile course with 20+ obstacles.  I’m only doing the 5 mile with 13 obstacles.  I’m not at a point where I could handle the 10 miles.  (though next year/time, I aim to be.  >:D )

all of this means I have to start working out again.  and I started this morning.  it means I have to workout every day, no matter what.  no excuses.  no wimping out.  even if it’s just a brisk walk outside for a few minutes, I have to do something.

the Tough Mudder website has a three-month workout program designed to help get you ready.  it’s a lot of circuit training and HITT — because that’s that kind of fitness I’ll need for the course.  and honestly, that’s the kind of fitness I want overall.  I want to be able to do bursts of stuff.  I don’t need long endurance.  and HITT is easier to change things up so I don’t get so bored as quickly.

that’s all for now.  I wish I could write a more concise and stream-lined post about it, but my brain is all over the place.  I wanted to at least get it out there that we’re doing this.  so that in the future, when I’m groaning about my workouts, you’ll know why.  😉

time to run

I signed up for a simple 5k walk/run.  it’s in June.  that gives me time to get back to a semblance of healthy, at least.  I was telling a co-workers — who I really hope I can legit befriend — about some of the fun 5ks I’ve done over the years: zombies, foam, colours, fun jump/bouncy castles, etc.  she then took it upon herself to find one she could walk for, and signed herself up.  she also signed up her partner, who said he would go to whatever she chose.  well, it wasn’t until after she’d paid the fees and whatnot that her man told her he would be running it, leaving her behind.  so I volunteered to go with her.  we could go at whatever pace she needed.  she seemed to both appreciate the sentiment and see the value in my offer, because she accepted it happily.

so in the middle of June, I’m doing another 5k.

this one is just two laps around a pond in St. Paul.  nothing spectacular.  but it was only $30, and it’s a charity run/walk.  so that works for me.  just something to get me moving again.

I’ve missed my 5ks.  I’ve missed being fit.  I’ve missed the smaller numbers on my scale, my clothes fitting, not having to suck in my gut because it expands past my breasts.  I’m tired of holding onto clothes because “maybe I’ll fit them again in a few months”, of constantly eating when I know I shouldn’t, of huffing and puffing while going up or down a set of stairs.  I’m just done with it.

so I need to come up with my plan.  it’s finally starting to warm.  so I might can start running outside soon.  I’m moderately looking forward to that (I usually hate running, because of my knees).  I’ll probably go back to the very first workout routine that worked for me.  I had the most success with it (some reasons for this were unrelated to the workout itself, granted), so why not try it again.  if it works again, then I know it’s a keeper.  if not, then I need to see what is the element or variable that’s fucking with my shit and preventing me from exercising.

I also need to look into my food plan.  I’m thinking 1,600 kcals/day, minus Tuesdays and Fridays (usually date nights, wherein I eat whatever Brian is eating more food than I should).

so that’s what I’ll work on tonight.  my fitness plan.  I may post up the deets when I’m finished.  undecided.